It’s been a year since I started sharing here again and I can hardly believe it. I want to thank everyone that has been following me, encourarging me, listening to me, reading my blog and supporting me. You honestly have no idea what it means to me that you take a bit of your precious time to spend here with me every month.
When I reflect where I have been and how far I have come, I know that I have entered a new clearing along my path and yet it looks very much like the last one. If I didn’t know any better I would say I was lost but the last year has taught me enough to know that this is far from true. I can see that although this clearing looks very similar to others, I should in no way be fooled, it is subtlely different than the last one. This clearing actually has flowers blooming in the corners and a beautiful oak tree with its strong limbs reaching upwards and its leaves just about to unfurl and wave at the beautiful spring sky.
Until very recently, I hadn’t been in my studio for nearly 10 weeks. But then there was finally a moment, an opening, and I finally heard the squeak of my studio door again. {In a small corner of my heart I am always fearful I will never hear that sound again.} I played my music loud and I swept away ten weeks of collected dust. {I am one if those people that has to clean her desk before she can do her work.} I felt the joy of clay in my hands and the blissfulness of letting go in a creative moment, opening my heart and letting what needs to come through it emerge into this reality.
As I think about the time that has past I have mixed emotions. On one hand, it all seemed very frustrating to me that 10 weeks had leapt by but on the other hand it all made perfect sense. For the last 10 weeks there had been a new complication every week. Such is life.
Every day, as part of my affirmations, I commit to being fully present in the moment and appreciating my life now. I embrace the day fully and I also commit to let go of my expectations for what tomorrow will bring. So it is as clear as crystal blue water that I need to commit to creating everyday but with two eight-year-olds I have to be creative about being creative! So when I look back and reflect upon all that I have been doing this year I realize that I have been moving forward, even though there is a part of myself that likes to whisper in my ear that indeed I have not done much, and certainly not nearly enough.
Really though, I HAVE been busy. Oh so busy, with my fingers in many pies!
This past year I….
- started my blog.
- admitted I’m a perfectionist
- took a break from deadlines to capture some magic
- embraced slow
- evolved the love notes project from a series into a way of being
- played around with stop motion animation and short films
- created some prototypes
- started a design project {redesigning office space for a local company}
- came up with some new clay designs
- practiced just being
- came to a new understanding about the past – letting it go more than ever before.
I never realized how many things I could just let go of. I have come to understand that all these things just grow as fast as they grow, so instead of fighting it, it’s much better to just go along with it all. I am proud of myself. I may have my hands in a lot of pies and I might not be sure when I will be finished, but I know if I just keep going and not worry about the “how and when” it will just happen in it’s own good time. What finish line am I trying to reach anyway? Am I really in such a hurry to get there? No, of course not! It’s time to enjoy what I have, be greatful, notice things, share things, give out love, and create. The only NOW there is …is this one. 